The leaves are changing colors. The seasons are changing.
Are you changing?
Am I?
I sure hope so.
Change is necessary for growth but some people resist it like it is the plague. Franklin Roosevelt once said “there are many ways of going forward but only one way of standing still”. I memorized that quote many years ago and it still pops in my head when it dawns on me that I am resisting some change in my life. It is all too easy to simply resort to the same comforting responses when a new challenge presents itself. Some of us really enjoy life on our comfy couches!
Imagine if we could learn to embrace change. See it coming and open up our arms in welcome. Give it a great big hug. Too often we tighten our arms around our comfort zone, dig in our heels and refuse to budge off of the couch. So many of us our dissatisfied with our lives but have no idea what to do to make things better. We get glimpses of what could be different and we begin to daydream about a better life but then we start tossing boulders (in the form of negative thinking) in our way.
Negative thinking blocks us from even daring to imagine a better life. It is a protective response to keep change at bay. My own negative thinking about change looks like this:
I can’t afford it
That would never work
My honey would never go for that
Stop being unrealistic
To me, “STINKING THINKING” sounds more powerful and more appropriate than negative thinking. Regardless of what you call it, it is a big ole boulder that is blocking you from a better life and you need to find a way to get over it, around it, or under it. It is time to push the darn boulder off the cliff.
Instead of “I can’t afford it” I am going to try “How can I afford it?”
Instead of “that would never work. I will try “How can I make this work?”
Instead of my honey would never go for that. I will try “How can I make this work for both of us.
Instead of stop being unrealistic, I will try to continue to daydream for as long as possible.
Sometimes I get so stuck in my own head that I keep spinning and spinning my wheels but am powerless to make a change. The stinking thinking starts to take over and pretty soon I am spiraling downward.
I have the exact same conversations with myself but it is all negative (stinking). It isn’t brainstorming possible solutions or developing better strategies; it is just me verbally beating myself up. I spent one day last week at the cottage and spent the day climbing out of my downward spiral!
It didn’t matter that it rained most of the day. It didn’t matter that Mother Fran and Child #7 were back in Florida. I was determined to get out of my self-imposed rut and quit my stinking thinking. I put on my swim suit and kayaked for 50 minutes and then I took a quick, refreshing October swim.
It was raining by the time I got out of the water so I dragged my favorite outdoor chair into the house and dried it off. I put it in front of the sliding glass door in the dining room so I could enjoy the view. I called Mother Fran and spoke to Child #6 and Child #7. Then I started writing in my journal. I wrote down what was bothering me and how it made me feel. I when I ran out of words I turned the page and wrote “Possible Solutions”. Then I wrote out several possible solutions. Getting my thoughts organized took me about 90 minutes and helped me resolve my inner turmoil.
I feel calmer and lighter than I have in weeks. I am so glad I finally realized I was sick and tired of my stinking thinking and gave that big ole boulder a shove off the cliff. I changed my perspective and found a way to choose happiness!
Lake Girl