Have you ever gotten your car stuck in the mud? Your first instinct is to put your foot on the gas and get the heck out. If you are lucky, this might work but more often than not, it only makes the situation worse. The tires spin and spin but the car doesn’t move, and you end up digging a rut that gets deeper and deeper.
When stuck in a figurative rut, you just keep spinning your wheels, unable to make the changes necessary to get things moving in a positive direction. Often, the problem is that we think we need to make radical changes to get out of the rut and this scares the bejeebers out of us.
We think we need to immediately quit the job we hate, break up with the person we are in a relationship with, move to a cheaper city… you get the picture.
When this happens, we start catastrophizing and putting our choices into 2 buckets. We can do this or that. We can quit the job or suck it up and continue to work there miserably. We can stay in the relationship, or we continue to be unhappy without taking action. We can stay in the apartment and keep making our debt larger or we can move to a place we won’t like but can afford. This type of thinking unnecessarily limits our choices and prevents creative problem solving. When this occurs, we keep mulling over our problems, and we don’t take action.
Not making a decision is actually making a decision. We are deciding not to choose what we want, and we are by default deciding to stay in the mud, spinning our wheels.
Yes, the cost of inaction is to stay in the rut, to keep spinning the tires. The cost of inaction can be seriously high. One year passes and then another and we still hate our job, are unhappy in our relationship or living in an apartment we can’t afford.
When writing this post, I came across this site which discusses options to get out of the mud (the literal mud). The author lists not one or two viable options but seven. What if we brainstormed not one or two ways to solve our problem but seven ways? What if came up with 10 ways or 20?
If we had even 10 possible solutions to our problem, maybe we could take a small step today and another tomorrow and another the following day to get us moving in the right direction. When faced with a change, you don’t have to jump into the lake, just walk into the change nice and slow.
If you are in a rut and spinning your wheels, I have a few questions for you and recommend you write down your answers.
- What change have you been thinking about and how long have you been thinking about making it?
- What has inaction cost you so far?
- Are you willing to continue to pay the price of inaction?
I am not suggestion you quit your job, break up with your partner or move out of the city. Nor am I saying you have been doing nothing but complaining about the situation you are in. I am suggesting that just because you have been thinking about making a change for a year, doesn’t mean you have been creatively coming up with potential, viable solutions that could help guide you out of your rut.
Fear can be a powerful force that keeps us spinning our wheels. Our stinking thinking is negative and usually keeps us looking only in one direction. If you have been stuck thinking about all of the downsides to change, spend some time thinking of the positive aspects. What will your life look like in a year if you make this change, and it meets your expectations? Write down your answers, daydream on the possibilities. Think of 10 small steps you could do today that nudge you in the right direction. Pick the best step and do it.
That step might be talking to your boss or your partner about what is on your mind. Often when I am in a rut, I am trying desperately to find solutions all by myself without involving the other people who would be affected. Again, this limits the options available because we don’t know what the other person has to offer. Maybe your boss has been considering talking to you about a promotion or a lateral move. Maybe your partner has been avoiding talking to you the same way you have been avoiding talking to her. Maybe your landlord would accept some labor in exchange for a reduction in your rent.
The cost of inaction is staying in your rut and that can be scarier than taking the small steps needed to get moving in the direction of your dreams.
Posts on this topic include:
No Jumping Required, Acknowledge Your Fear, 2 Life-Preserver
You deserve to be happy, so choose Happiness! Take the first step today.
Lake Girl
