The last month and a half has been a little crazy. Do you agree? It is like we have moved to a new country where the language and the customs are very different from our own. If you watch “The Flash“, it is like we have vibed to Earth 10, where all the people we know from Earth 1 are here, they have the same name, but they aren’t the same person. They cover their face with masks, wash their hands incessantly and stand 6 feet apart from everyone. They do not touch others nor spend time with people. Even my blog posts are different, with titles like “A Report From The Field” and “My World Got Crazy” and “These Are Not Normal Times”. These don’t sound like the pursuit of health, wealth and happiness.
I know these are trying times and I know we are stressed. I hope living in the manner we are being forced to live right now, never becomes normal for any of us. I long to be able to have friends over for dinner, to hug my family, to feel safe at work and in the community. I want to ditch the hand sanitizer, the Lysol wipes and the gloves that have taken up residence on the front seat of my car. I want to walk with my honey and my dog without having to cross the street every time we see another person. I want to be able to say YES to the kids who simply want to pet my dog.
Why is it so hard to simply enjoy the here and now? Right now, I am sitting on my couch typing this post. I can hear the sing song of my favorite bird, the cardinal. One calls, the other responds in an ongoing fashion. My dog is sleeping and I can hear her rhythmic breathing. These are all things that relax me, however at the same time, I am anxious about what is happening in the world today, I am scared for my family and friends, I am petrified for health care workers in New York City, across the country and across the globe. I am trying to not let this fear take hold in my heart.
As a Lake Girl, I see people fishing all of the time. At 5am, I hear the first fishing boats zip by the cottage. Maybe the early bird really does get the worm. By the time, I am drinking my first cup of tea, with my feet perched on the railing overlooking the water, the first of many boaters are directly in front of our house casting their rods. I don’t know if the locals just have a sense of where the fish hang out or if they chat about their last great catch in front of the gray cottage with the orangish trim. But the water just in front of our cottage is a popular spot!
Enjoying me morning tea!
I was a vegetarian for over 20 years and didn’t eat fish for most of that time. As I didn’t eat fish, it likely comes as no surprise that I didn’t go fishing for sport or leisure. I still don’t go fishing and get a bit squeamish just thinking about putting a worm on the hook or touching the fish that foolishly ate the worm. I don’t really get fishing at all. But I admire fishermen and women who pursue their sport with such enthusiasm and perseverance.
As an Occupational Therapist, I tend to notice when people are fully engaged in an activity. Fishing seems to bring this out in people. From my observations, when people fish for fun (and hopefully dinner too) they have no desire to be anywhere else. They are relaxed, enjoying the day, quietly conversing with their friends. Fishing is a simple pleasure and seems to bring out some good qualities in people.
It doesn’t matter if they are in a big, flashy boat a little row boat, or a kayak. It doesn’t matter if they are sitting on a comfy chair, a wooden deck or standing up to their waist in the water. They cast their rod and let the water and the waves do their thing. At some point, they reel it in and do it all over again. To me, it gives meaning to the idea of being in the flow of an activity.
No worries!
Saturday on my way to work at 7am, I watched a guy walking through the town carrying his fishing pole in the rain. He was likely headed to the river and a little rain was not going to deter him from doing what he loved. Fishermen and women don’t melt! They don’t let a drizzle or cloudy sky ruin their fun.
When I lived in Gloucester, I remember watching a guy riding his bike carrying a big fish in one hand and his fishing pole in the other. To me, this looked tricky and hard but he was simply bringing his daily catch home for dinner. He was smiling from ear to ear. This guy wasn’t letting the fact that something was hard deter him from what he needed to do.
I have seen guys cast their rod and immediately get their line caught in a tree or a branch. They calmly take care of the problem and as soon as possible, cast again and continue to fish. I don’t think I have ever seen a fisherman get angry or upset or even curse at such an event. It is like small annoyances are just taken in stride because they can’t be avoided.
I routinely see people catch a fish, calmly reel it in and immediately toss it back because it is too small. They do this hour after hour, patiently waiting for the big one. Yes, fishermen, women and kids learn patience!
Skill building…
The next time you have something planned and the weather isn’t perfect; grab a raincoat and do it anyway. You won’t melt.
The next time you find yourself in a tough situation – like catching a big ole fish and having to carry it home while riding your bike – just put a smile on your face and do what needs to be done! Think of it as character building.
When dealing with the same small problems over and over again like an annoying co-worker, the Xerox machine getting jammed, or the meeting that just won’t end – you can get frustrated and lose your cool or you can think like a fisherman. Simply take that small fish off the hook and toss it back into the water and get back to your task at hand.
If you are feeling stuck in a rut – try changing your perspective by thinking like a fisherman!
A few days ago I saw a few glimpses of spring when I decided to do a bit of raking and yard clean up. I packed up 6 bags of yard debris and stuck them in the garage. I saw the day lilies sporting some greenery and the crocuses popping out of the ground. I heard the cardinals, robins and blue jays singing away.
This morning though, I peered out my window and saw evidence that winter has not released its grip on Central New York. I saw a light coating of snow everywhere and my outdoor work was cancelled due to the cold. The temperature currently reads 40 degrees but the wind chill says otherwise. So I put those 6 bags filled with leaves, sticks and dead stalks out to the curb while the wind whipped and the snow fell. Mother Nature needs to make up her mind!
I have been hanging out in Florida this week with Mother Fran and Child #7. The weather has been ok but regardless, it has been nice to get away from the cold and the snow. They live in what feels like a pretty congested area with busy roads full of traffic and every store you can think of within a 10 minute drive. Usually I would hate this type of area but they have something I crave with every ounce of my being. They live on the water. Don’t get too excited, it isn’t the ocean or even a lake; they live on a small pond. They share the pond with a bunch of other houses, each one faces the pond with their back porch.
Mom’s back porch is screened in and the entire thing overlooks the pond. It has a table and chairs, small couch and comfy chair. You can also walk out the porch door and set up a lounge chair on the grass when the need overtakes you. You can’t swim in this pond or even toss in your kayak (apparently that is frowned upon) but people do fish and enjoy the view.
Many of the people I work with in the nursing home don’t seem to have much going on in their old age. They sit and stare into space or at the television screen until it is time for bed or their next meal. Whatever leisure activities they enjoyed in the past either cannot be completed in the nursing home setting or they have lost the interest or ability to participate.
I have worked with some elderly patients in their home as well and some of them are in the same position. They wait for the phone to ring, for their favorite game show or for a visitor to stop by. I want more in my old age! I want to be more like Mother Fran and other seniors who still know how to live life with a purpose.
When I was a kid we celebrated Thanksgiving in the traditional American way. Our family got together and prepared a delicious turkey dinner with all of the fixings. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but thinking back it was a complicated process that all of us engaged in. Think of an orchestra where every musician brings their special talents; knows what to play and when to play it in order to create a masterpiece!
Do you want to increase your happiness? There is more than enough to go around and it is free to make more and more. One could argue the supply of happiness is endless.
Then why are people so unhappy all of the time?
I think we live such busy, hectic lives that we are stressed out most of the time. We don’t spend time doing things we love and eventually we forget the joy we once derived from simple pleasures. We get caught up in daily chores, work, responsibilities, and commitments and forget to do the little things that bring us joy.
I bet he is smiling!
I would argue that if you want to increase your happiness, if you want to be a better person, if you want to be the best YOU possible; that it takes work. It takes some introspection and quiet time. But all of the time and effort is worth it once you can find ways to maximize your happiness, reduce your stress and spend time with the people who bring out the best in you.
