Choosing Health, Wealth and Happiness
The unthinkable happened this week, Mother Fran took her last breath and left this earth. She left behind 1 of her 2 sisters, 8 of her 9 children, fifteen grandchildren and twenty seven great-grandchildren. She joins her parents in heaven along with her husband, sister, son and daughter-in-law. She died quietely in the car on the way to the beach. She played cards the night before (I bet she won) and walked to the car under her own power. Mother Fran died on her own terms.
I have been silent here on My Little Blue Kayak for several weeks. Nothing is wrong, nothing is new. I have been in a good head space and enjoying my time in sunny Florida with Mother Fran and my sister (#7). My days consist of walking in the sunshine, playing cards, watching the birds, sitting outdoors and hanging with Mom. I don’t miss the cold of Upstate, NY and I certainly don’t miss shoveling snow or layering up to walk out the front door. With that said, my time in Florida is winding down and I am getting excited to hug my honey and spend time together.
I safely arrived at Mother Fran’s yesterday morning at 10:30AM! The ride was uneventful and I exercised extreme caution on my three day drive. My initial plan as I shared in my last post, In The Cautious Category, I had planned to stop at my sisters for a quick COVID style visit. You know the type – where you wear a mask, keep 6 feet apart and stay outdoors as much as possible. A couple of days prior to hopping in the car, I had doubts and ended up cancelling this part of the trip. My final destinations was my Mom’s house and I was determined to not take any chances that could risk bringing the virus to her.
Remember back in February when everyone advised each other to stay at home, wear a mask, wash your hands to avoid spreading the virus? I don’t know about where you live but things here had improved quite a bit and the number of daily cases was quite low.
In New York State, the numbers are rising again and I don’t hear the same concern from people. We are hitting over 5000 new cases per day across the state – up from around 1000 in August.
You don’t need a crystal ball to see what is going to happen in the coming weeks with Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching. I am no fortune teller but I absolutely expect a big spike and a lot of unhappy post holiday isolations and quarantines.
Back in February and early March, Mother Fran was in the hospital with cardiac issues. I wrote about it in a post titled “It Takes 9”. Currently Mother Fran is at the lake and my sister (Child #7) is living with her. The rest of us have been taking turns staying with them to help out. Mom is 93 and has always taken good care of her health. Between those stays at the hospital and COVID19, it has been a difficult year. Even though her mind remains sharp and she can physically get around, she now needs 24 hour care. I am blessed to have a large family that loves her with a fierce tenderness that can’t really be explained. I can’t fathom how some people do this on their own.
Eight cardinals greeted us when we arrived at my nephew’s house at the beginning of March. Not one or two but eight. The tree was glimmering in a sea of red. Cardinal sightings give me joy and I look forward to hearing their song. Seeing a cardinal is said to be a visitor from a loved one who has passed away. When I only see one, I can’t always determine who is visiting. But eight, hell everyone who held a serious place in my heart is probably close. Now that is a comforting thought!
Not only did arrive to see eight beautiful birds, we were greeted by my nephew who had been fishing. Soon we were joined by his wife, their three amazing kids, his Mother-in-law, his dog and two baby lambs. It was quite the greeting. We spent some time just sitting around in lawn chairs talking. The lambs were only a couple of days old and wandered around freely with the kids, dogs, and chickens. I even got to bottle feed them!
My parents had nine kids that are spread out over the East Coast. Mother Fran is the glue that holds us together. We don’t always talk on the phone or see each other often but we all share one thing in common. We all love Mother Fran like crazy. It is funny because she is not overly warm or affectionate. She didn’t spoil any of her kids and doesn’t give lavish presents. She is not a doting mother or grandmother. Somehow she and Papa Jack raised nine kids who all adore her. How did they do it?
Mother Fran has always been a bit of a health nut and has enjoyed good health into her 90’s. She likes to keep active both physically and mentally. Since February, she has visited the emergency room twice and been admitted to the hospital twice. This time period has been a whirlwind for my family and it isn’t over by far. We have decided to continue to provide 24 hour care for her at home as she isn’t out of the woods and should not be alone.
As I right this, I am wrapping up week 2 of my 2020 month long semi-retirement. I recently wrote about how week 1 went in this post. In week 2, we have been settling in to a nice routine. I wake up early (as usual) and take my quiet time and then I write for a bit. After walking the dog, we eat breakfast and Mother Fran and I play some Canasta. It has been a beautiful week with temperatures in the 80’s. I feel bad that my sister, Child #3 was here just before us and had lousy weather.
I grew up in a house or maybe just a time where money felt like one of those taboo topics; like sex and religion, that are not to be discussed with others. It seemed like if you had money and talked about it you were bragging and if you didn’t have money and talked about it you were begging. Today, too many of us don’t have a solid grip on our finances. We feel broke all of the time but we spend money like we were born with a silver spoon in our mouth.
As a kid, I didn’t have any money. Papa Jack retired from the NYC police force when I was 9 years old and we moved Upstate. He had a small pension and a rather frugal wife but they still had 4 kids in school. He worked at various places over the years and raised some animals (mostly chickens) and grew plenty of vegetables to help with the food budget. Money was tight but we always had enough.
I wonder if my Nana knew on July 22, 1927 that she was giving birth to such an amazing person. Mother Fran will turn 92 in a few days and I am honored to be part of her family. My parents had nine kids, yup NINE! Each and everyone of us turned out to be pretty well-adjusted, happy adults. I think that is quite an accomplishment. My Mom is not super affectionate, she isn’t the type to brag about her kids, she isn’t even the type to tell you when she is proud of you. That being said, I have never doubted her love for me or for the rest of the extended family.
Mother Fran isn’t the only one to have a July birthday in my family. My Fenway turns 11 this month! I adopted her when she was 4 months old and as no one could give me an exact date of birth, I thought she should share with Mom. I can’t say that Mom was honored but she didn’t complain! Fenway has always been a bundle of joy (and energy) and has plenty of love to share. We are getting ready for a birthday brunch with 5 of the 9 kids, 1 grand child and 4 great-grandchildren. This family knows how to party!
When I tell people that Mom is turning 92, they usually respond with “bless her”. Personally, I think she must already be blessed to have reached her 90’s with her mind and body in pretty good shape! She keeps herself active by wearing her fitness tracker and playing cards with her kids. She says it is funny to walk into a room and know you are the oldest one there! In human years, even Fenway isn’t close to Mother Fran in age! If it wasn’t for the shades of grey around Fenway’s snout, you would think she was a puppy.
Mother Fran told me once that her love for me was “unconditional”. Isn’t that an amazing thing to say to your grown up daughter? I have never forgotten that or taken it for granted. Now Fenway can’t talk but I am willing to bet that her love for me is unconditional as well. This 92 year old woman and 11 year old dog have a whole lot of love to share and I am blessed to be firmly planted within that circle of love.
Who do you get a whole lot of love from? Go give those people and pets a great big hug, they deserve it! Today seems like a good day to make sure the people you love know how much they mean to you! There is no guarantee that you will have the opportunity to tell them when they reach age 93 or 12! If the person you need to recognize has passed away or is no longer reachable, writing a letter could be a good way to express your feelings and generate some happiness!
Lake Girl
