In the middle of November, I did my annual trek south for the winter. I never planned on becoming a snow bird; it just kind of happened. I have been coming to Florida for at least a month each winter for the last 4 or 5 years to help take care of Mother Fran. When she passed away in October, it dawned on me that I didn’t have to go south, however, I realized that I wanted to!
In the past, I hung out with Mom each day, playing cards and doing puzzles. Once a week or so, we would hit a local park, beach or nature preserve to enjoy the scenery and the sunshine. I had lots of family time but I didn’t interact with any Floridians.
I’m not going to beat around the bush here. I’m not going to hold back. I’m going to tell you all about the week I have had. Here goes… It sucked. I know I am usually full of positivity and good vibes but some things can’t be denied and this week was absolutely awful.
My 2013 RAV4 was totaled in an accident involving 4 cars. I loved that car. I was one block from my brother (Number 9’s) house to drop Fenway off for a sleepover. The first three cars were all braking appropriately for whatever reason (I was car #3) and the fourth car was NOT STOPPING. I saw the big blue Durango barreling down on me and was alarmed because he didn’t appear to be braking. He was still going over 30 MPH while the rest of use were almost stopped.
Eight cardinals greeted us when we arrived at my nephew’s house at the beginning of March. Not one or two but eight. The tree was glimmering in a sea of red. Cardinal sightings give me joy and I look forward to hearing their song. Seeing a cardinal is said to be a visitor from a loved one who has passed away. When I only see one, I can’t always determine who is visiting. But eight, hell everyone who held a serious place in my heart is probably close. Now that is a comforting thought!
Not only did arrive to see eight beautiful birds, we were greeted by my nephew who had been fishing. Soon we were joined by his wife, their three amazing kids, his Mother-in-law, his dog and two baby lambs. It was quite the greeting. We spent some time just sitting around in lawn chairs talking. The lambs were only a couple of days old and wandered around freely with the kids, dogs, and chickens. I even got to bottle feed them!
I know these are trying times and I know we are stressed. I hope living in the manner we are being forced to live right now, never becomes normal for any of us. I long to be able to have friends over for dinner, to hug my family, to feel safe at work and in the community. I want to ditch the hand sanitizer, the Lysol wipes and the gloves that have taken up residence on the front seat of my car. I want to walk with my honey and my dog without having to cross the street every time we see another person. I want to be able to say YES to the kids who simply want to pet my dog.
Why is it so hard to simply enjoy the here and now? Right now, I am sitting on my couch typing this post. I can hear the sing song of my favorite bird, the cardinal. One calls, the other responds in an ongoing fashion. My dog is sleeping and I can hear her rhythmic breathing. These are all things that relax me, however at the same time, I am anxious about what is happening in the world today, I am scared for my family and friends, I am petrified for health care workers in New York City, across the country and across the globe. I am trying to not let this fear take hold in my heart.
My parents had nine kids that are spread out over the East Coast. Mother Fran is the glue that holds us together. We don’t always talk on the phone or see each other often but we all share one thing in common. We all love Mother Fran like crazy. It is funny because she is not overly warm or affectionate. She didn’t spoil any of her kids and doesn’t give lavish presents. She is not a doting mother or grandmother. Somehow she and Papa Jack raised nine kids who all adore her. How did they do it?
Mother Fran has always been a bit of a health nut and has enjoyed good health into her 90’s. She likes to keep active both physically and mentally. Since February, she has visited the emergency room twice and been admitted to the hospital twice. This time period has been a whirlwind for my family and it isn’t over by far. We have decided to continue to provide 24 hour care for her at home as she isn’t out of the woods and should not be alone.
On Thanksgiving Day it easy to get caught up in the meal preparation, the company, the house cleaning, and the football game. It is hands down one of the best meals of the year and it is hard not to get pumped up for that. But Thanksgiving is really all about sharing and community; it is a great time to express some Tude (with a capital T). No -not attitude but gratiTude.
Thanksgiving is here and that means it is time to express some gratitude. One of my goals for this year was to keep a gratitude journal and write down at least three things every day that I am grateful for. I have done a good job writing in it every night before bed and the more I write in it, the easier it gets to think of three things.
Never stop learning. I mean it. Never stop. It is the most critical factor I can think of that is required to live a meaningful life. I don’t know about you, but I believe living a meaningful life is way cooler than living a mediocre one. I have tried (somewhat unsuccessfully) to build a few new habits this year. I wanted to blog for 5 minutes every day in order to post on My Little Blue Kayak 5x per month. Instead, I have been in a major slump all summer and am now kicking myself in the pants! I wanted to earn at least 1 CEU (continuing education credit) per month in order to earn 15 for the year. I believe I have earned 6 so far.
It is easy to write goals and even easier to promptly forget to address them. Writing this blog is one way I push myself to do better, to be better. Let’s face it, having to share one’s failures has a way of motivating one to do better. I know why I didn’t blog for 5 minutes every day, I know why I didn’t earn 1 CEU per month. I don’t need to make excuses, I need to do better. If you want to read about my goals, check out these posts. 5 Minutes is Easy, 2018 Goal Review, A Year in Review. As you can see, writing goals is important to me and finding ways to push myself to do and be better is critical if I want my life to mean something.
I wonder if my Nana knew on July 22, 1927 that she was giving birth to such an amazing person. Mother Fran will turn 92 in a few days and I am honored to be part of her family. My parents had nine kids, yup NINE! Each and everyone of us turned out to be pretty well-adjusted, happy adults. I think that is quite an accomplishment. My Mom is not super affectionate, she isn’t the type to brag about her kids, she isn’t even the type to tell you when she is proud of you. That being said, I have never doubted her love for me or for the rest of the extended family.
Mother Fran isn’t the only one to have a July birthday in my family. My Fenway turns 11 this month! I adopted her when she was 4 months old and as no one could give me an exact date of birth, I thought she should share with Mom. I can’t say that Mom was honored but she didn’t complain! Fenway has always been a bundle of joy (and energy) and has plenty of love to share. We are getting ready for a birthday brunch with 5 of the 9 kids, 1 grand child and 4 great-grandchildren. This family knows how to party!
When I tell people that Mom is turning 92, they usually respond with “bless her”. Personally, I think she must already be blessed to have reached her 90’s with her mind and body in pretty good shape! She keeps herself active by wearing her fitness tracker and playing cards with her kids. She says it is funny to walk into a room and know you are the oldest one there! In human years, even Fenway isn’t close to Mother Fran in age! If it wasn’t for the shades of grey around Fenway’s snout, you would think she was a puppy.
Mother Fran told me once that her love for me was “unconditional”. Isn’t that an amazing thing to say to your grown up daughter? I have never forgotten that or taken it for granted. Now Fenway can’t talk but I am willing to bet that her love for me is unconditional as well. This 92 year old woman and 11 year old dog have a whole lot of love to share and I am blessed to be firmly planted within that circle of love.
Who do you get a whole lot of love from? Go give those people and pets a great big hug, they deserve it! Today seems like a good day to make sure the people you love know how much they mean to you! There is no guarantee that you will have the opportunity to tell them when they reach age 93 or 12! If the person you need to recognize has passed away or is no longer reachable, writing a letter could be a good way to express your feelings and generate some happiness!
It is officially summer! Yeah! One of my yard work customers is 96 and yesterday she informed me that she was going to be outside working in her yard at 10 PM on the longest day of the year. I didn’t check in on her but I have no doubt that she met her goal! She makes me crack up laughing every time we talk; I am grateful for her.
I have been incredibly busy between yard work and my work at the nursing home. I have been working six days per week and really love my Sundays off. The funny thing is when I work at my yard work gigs, it barely feels like work. I am out in all kinds of weather, rain, sun, wind, hot, and cold. I do laundry pretty much every other day because I get so dirty. Good thing we have a washer and dryer in the basement! I am grateful for my yard work and for my washer machine!
One of my goals for 2019 was to start a gratitude journal and I am happy to report I have been writing in it pretty consistently. It sits on the nightstand next to my bed and every night when I crawl under the covers I jot down 3 things I am grateful for. I have noticed that the more I write in my journal the easier it is to identify 3 things to be grateful for.
I now find it easy to truly express gratitude for things that once would have been simply irritating. I am getting better and seeing the positive side of every day events. This is a skill that will help me for the rest of my life! Here are a few things I am grateful for today!
I am grateful I didn’t break my pinky finger when I slammed it in the folding table. I am grateful that the tree that fell into the lake didn’t hit the neighbors boat (it was really close). I am grateful that the cottage didn’t flood and Child #7 and Mother Fran didn’t need to evacuate in the storm. I am grateful my honey made it safely to Connecticut and is on her way home. I am grateful for my health, for my wealth (what there is of it) and for my happiness.
I believe gratitude has the ability to grow like compound interest! But in order to do that, it must be shared, it must be expressed. Let’s fill each others buckets by expressing our gratitude to our loved ones. It is one way to help save the world! When we quarantine gratitude it can not grow, it can not multiply. That is like the opposite of saving the world.
Go save the world by expressing some gratitude today! Happy Summer.
Spring has sprung here in the Finger Lakes region of New York State. People are slowly shedding their winter coats, hats, boots and gloves for t-shirts, flip flops and hoodies! In my world this means yard work and lake time! I am sitting right now, happily typing away at the cottage. Never mind that I am wearing heavy sweats, a fleece shirt, and wool socks. I am also wrapped up tight in a heated blanket. But trust me, spring is here!
This is my second overnight this month at the lake and I am looking forward to Cottage Clean Up Weekend with Child #3 and her honey in another couple of weeks. Being at the lake puts me squarely in my happy place. I caught myself speaking out loud this afternoon the word “blessed”. That is all, just “blessed”. At the time, I was standing in the kitchen, looking out the window at the lake and the hillside. After dinner, I took a quick 15 minute kayak ride and caught myself whispering “grateful”.
