Tag: friends

Don’t Be a Stranger

I like to think I am a simple person, someone who is not complicated. Someone who puts on no pretenses and what you see is what you get. I lived in this fantasy world for most of my life until I went through a particularly challenging time and those rose colored glasses were scratched and then smashed. At least that is the time that I believe I started to wake up to my own complexity.

About 10 years ago, I went through a 1-2 year span where I lost five important people in my life. They ranged in age from 29-62. I felt numb for a long time and then I went through a difficult break up. Until that time, I was always able to put on a happy face. I could pull myself together and present myself as a composed, happy, easy going person. But by the end of that 2 year span, after losing 5 people who were too young to die and having my relationship crumble, I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Image by siteexpresso from Pixabay
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25 Years is a Long Time

On April 19 2014 I moved back to the Finger Lakes after 25 years in Massachusetts. Trust me, 25 years is a long time. Long enough to live in at least 12 different houses with many different roommates. Long enough to have a 20 year career and supervise too many people to count. Long enough to fall in and out of love a few times. Long enough to make wonderful friends that will last a lifetime, despite living 350 miles away.

Living closer to family and the lake is what drew me back to the Finger Lakes five years ago. I can’t believe it has been five years already! Five years is a long time too. Long enough to have a couple of jobs, move in with my honey, start my yard-work side-gig. Five years is long enough to have put down new roots and make more friends.

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

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Sharing a Gratitude Letter

2018 is winding down and I have a few goals I haven’t yet reached. One of my happiness goals is to complete a 7 Days/7 Gives. Every day for 7 days I plan on doing something for another person, an animal or the environment. One small  step every day for 7 days. I haven’t yet figured out what steps I will take but I figured I could get myself in the mood by sharing something I did last year in an effort to not quarantine gratitude.

Last year, I wrote a letter to my friend Sue who was my first boss when I was in high school. She and her husband Chris (who has passed away) ran the one and only local restaurant and I worked for them all through high school and college.  Both of them have had a tremendous influence on me and I wanted to express my gratitude to her for everything they did for me. If reading this inspires even one person to write a gratitude letter themselves, I will be thrilled!

So happy I wrote it

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Everyone I Know Needs Therapy – Even You!

I use this blog as my therapy. There, I said it – my secret is out. I don’t write for you or for my friends or family. I write this blog for me. I write to keep myself sane. I write to figure out how to solve big and small problems. I write to make better decisions day in and day out. If you follow this blog at all, you know that I have been slacking lately. One of my goals for 2018 was to average six posts per month. I am currently averaging less than four. Oops – time to get back on track.

It is all about me…

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Is Your Bucket Overflowing?

My local library has a huge book sale twice per year in a warehouse. Wandering the aisles is entertaining and you never know what you will find. I bought and just finished  reading “How Full is Your Bucket?” by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton. It is a short, easy to read book that uses a metaphor of a dipper and a bucket to help us increase our happiness and improve our relationships.

According to the book; “Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it is empty, we feel awful. Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people’s bucket – by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions – we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others’ buckets – by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions – we diminish ourselves.”

Let’s fill each other’s bucket!

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Home Sweet Home

By nature, I am a homebody. I prefer to sleep in my bed, eat my own cooking and putter in my garden. During the month of March, I was traveling away from home for 17 days. I spent time in Florida, Massachusetts and New York City. In Florida, I caught up with Mother Fran, Child #7, and Child # 5 and his honey. Mother Fran had plenty of “jobs” for me including digging out roots from old bushes, planting new grasses and driving her to appointments.  I enjoyed wearing shorts and flip-flops, kayaking and hanging at the pond.

I spent 5 nights in Massachusetts in 4 different towns catching up with old friends. I visited one of the nursing homes I used to work at and said hello to a few old patients and co-workers. I attended an Occupational Therapy Conference and earned 5 continuing education credits while catching up with even more friends.  I got to meet a friends 6 month old baby and had a little snuggle time which is good for the soul. 

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Planning For WHAT IF

The other morning,  I was heading out to walk the dog and stopped to check out the handy, dandy weather app on my iPhone. It had one of those red banners across the top warning me of icy conditions. Score 1 for being prepared. Instead of my hiking boots, I pulled on my winter boots for improved traction, leashed up the pup and headed out the front door. I stepped off the porch, onto the first step and proceeded to slide, feet first down the 4 steps onto the cement landing.

I laid on the ground for a minute cursing and trying to move all of my limbs to see what was hurt. My left wrist and shoulder seemed to haven taken the brunt of the fall and both felt sore. Other than that and my tuckus being wet from laying on the ground I seemed to be fine. My honey heard the fall and opened the door to check on me (I figured she really heard me cursing)! I got up and proceeded to take the poor dog for her walk. Everything was slippery and it was one of those really short walks where my sole focus was not to fall again.

I looked kind of like this…

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Aren’t Friends Great?

My honey is not a complainer. When the going gets tough she doesn’t whine or moan; she just keeps plodding along until the task is done. She has missed 3 weeks of playing tennis due to a shoulder injury and now is sick with a cold. She still isn’t really complaining but I know she is hurting and feels crappy.

Last week I wanted to plant the seed that maybe she should go see her doctor about the shoulder. We chatted for a few minutes and then moved on. Before I left the room, I asked if she was ok and she just looked at me like I was a bit crazy. “No, I’m not ok, I am hurting.”

Planting the seed…

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Another Milestone Passed

There are some rather big milestones built into our life that we pass through as we grow and mature into adulthood and beyond. Think “Terrible Two’s”, “Sweet 16”, gaining the right to vote at 18, the right to drink at 21,  and the ability to collect Social Security at 65.

This week, I got to experience another one of these milestones that it is often neglected. The right to have a colonoscopy at the age of 50. Personally, I waited until age 51, this was not a right of passage that I was looking forward to or one that got me excited.

Time for a tantrum

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