Back in February and early March, Mother Fran was in the hospital with cardiac issues. I wrote about it in a post titled “It Takes 9”. Currently Mother Fran is at the lake and my sister (Child #7) is living with her. The rest of us have been taking turns staying with them to help out. Mom is 93 and has always taken good care of her health. Between those stays at the hospital and COVID19, it has been a difficult year. Even though her mind remains sharp and she can physically get around, she now needs 24 hour care. I am blessed to have a large family that loves her with a fierce tenderness that can’t really be explained. I can’t fathom how some people do this on their own.
I watch my siblings look out for Mother Fran. Each and everyone of us have her best interest at heart. Each and everyone of us is in tune to her needs. It is amazing and I appreciate every one of them. Yeah us!
Mother Fran stands up and one or more of us get up to walk with her, to escort her, to make sure she gets to wherever she wants to go safely. Someone grabs her water and brings it to her. We play cards every morning and every afternoon as that is what makes her happy. We take turns sleeping in the twin bed next to her hospital bed as she gets up several times during the night to use the bathroom. We adjust the bed, the pillows until she gives the thumbs up of comfort. We stay up late with her as she is the night owl while the rest of us are early to bed.
My sister has set alarms for 8AM, 10AM and 8PM as a reminder to either give medication or take her vitals. She found this cool APP that we can input her vitals into and share them with her Doctor on her next visit. We have learned when Mother Frans asks for the little red pills, she wants the stool softener. The little white pill is her Valium. Don’t give her that – give her 1/2 of a blue pill (Tylenol PM) instead. We have chats in the morning to discuss what kind of a night she had. Did she sleep? Was she in pain? We are already figuring out how we will provide coverage through the winter. Seriously, it takes a village.
If anyone out there reading this, is struggling to care for an elderly parent on your own. I feel for you, I understand your struggle. Please take care of yourself. Ask for help. Make sure you are eating healthy, getting some time in nature, sleeping… Check to see if your County has an Office for the Aging to see what types of resources are available to assist you. Caring for an aging parent is a difficult job and it takes a village. Caregivers are at risk for a host of illnesses when they are unable to put their own needs first. What happens to your loved one if you get sick?
My Dad died 25 years ago and Mom has been a widow all of that time. She has lived a quarter of a century without him and has continued to grow and thrive during that time. She is not one of those old folks who sit and stare at the television all day long! Nope – Mother Fran likes to keep busy and continues to try and walk laps around the house, counting her steps as she goes. I admire and respect her approach to life! Be Like Mother Fran is one of my favorite posts!
Doting on Mother Fran is not a chore to me, it is an honor. I know that sounds weird but that is how I feel. I enjoy spending time with her and my siblings. We play, we laugh and we can be ourselves. My mom is not touchy feely, she does not radiate warmth. But I don’t doubt her unconditional love for me or for my siblings. I am forever grateful to my siblings for the love and devotion they have shown to Mother Fran during this past year. We are a village… If you are a caregiver and don’t have a village, what one step can you take in that direction? One step to expand your support system is a way to choose health.
Lake Girl
Wonderful post?
Thinking of your family!! And what an honor to care for Mother Fran! A very inspirational post.