Improve Key Relationships

In a recent post, I talked about health as a puzzle with 8 pieces. Today’s post is all about “Positive Relationships” as one piece of the overall puzzle. Through my work as an Occupational Therapist, I have seen how having positive relationships in one’s life can improve health outcomes for my patients. When in a Rehab setting, patients are surrounded by people but it can still be an isolating experience. Those who receive phone calls and visits by loved ones have a big advantage over patients who have no support. Having someone to run errands, bring home-cooked meals, listen to concerns is incredibly important. Positive relationships are a two-way street and they don’t get built over night!

I would guess that most of us at one time or another have been Debbie Downer, Gossiper Gus or Ned the Nosy Neighbor. We all go through periods of time when the stressors in our life far outweigh the joy. The people closest to us ought to be in our corner, be our cheerleader, and be willing to call us out when we do something that is disingenuous, hurtful or unkind.

I believe that positive relationships can improve health through physical affection, touch, feelings of safety, support, increased sense of self worth, increased confidence, being needed, decreasing periods and feelings of loneliness. The importance of having strong, healthy relationships can not be overvalued and we would all benefit from putting in some effort to ensuring the important people in our lives feel appreciated!

It is easy to take the people closest to us for granted and that is never a good idea. Think about people who would never say an unkind word to a stranger, always say please and thank you but put them in a room with just their spouse or kids and all bets are off. We let our guard down when we are with the people closest to us and that is a good thing. But letting our guard down does not give us liberty to lose all of our filters! It is just as important to be patient, kind, respectful and engage in a loving manner with the people in our inner circle as we are with our co-workers, neighbors and strangers we bump into at the grocery store.

I recently learned about the idea of marginal gains; putting our attention to getting even 1% better at something can make a big difference in the outcome. I don’t remember exactly where I heard or read it but I know it was from James Clear, so you can check out this article. I love this idea and think it can help us keep our kayaks on course in the direction of abundant health, wealth and happiness.

How can we improve our relationships by 1%?

What small, easy to implement steps can we consistently take to prioritize our most important relationships? I had a boss once who used to say “what is the low hanging fruit here” to get us thinking about the easy solutions. I hate that saying but it might help get us thinking of some easy changes to implement to improve our key relationships!

Here are three changes that I have been making when it comes to my relationship with my honey.

1. Consistently greet my honey with a smile and “how are you”. Then really listen (not fake listen) to her answer.
2. Always end the day with “I love you” before going to bed.
3. At least once a week, stay in bed and cuddle for a while before jumping up to start my day. I am an early bird and my honey is not. I tend to get out of bed several hours before her, even when I don’t have to. She enjoys laying in bed to talk and cuddle.

Here are three changes that I have been making when it comes to my relationship with Mother Fran.

1. Play one more round of Canasta than I really want to play!
2. Ask her if she is has her ears in (hearing aides) before I launch into a long conversation.
3. When in a group of people, always make sure she is involved in the conversation (she tends to zone out when she can’t hear what is going on).

None of these things are difficult to do, none of them take a lot of effort or time. When done consistently, all of them have the potential to improve the relationship by a tiny bit. I think small gestures done consistently help to build trust and trust is key to building strong relationships.

If you get one percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done.

https://jamesclear.com/continuous-improvement

What small steps should you consider taking that could improve your most important relationships?

Lake Girl