I work in the world of rehabilitation as an Occupational Therapist. I have worked in this field for ten years in several different nursing homes. I have seen staff, co-workers, and residents come and go. I can usually remember the faces but the names escape me. There is a weird dynamic in most nursing homes between therapy and nursing. We are working with the same patients but we come from different worlds. We use different terminology to describe the same thing. You would think by now we would have figured this out.
Nursing uses words like limited assist, extensive assist and total assist to describe how much help a resident needs to transfer, bathe, toilet and dress. Therapy uses words like minimum assist, moderate assist and maximum assist to describe the exact same thing. Nursing staff strive to make sure each person is safe, clean and dressed. The therapist is working towards having the same person be as independent as possible; prepared to return to their prior level of function.
Recently, my honey and I drove to Florida in my trusty RAV4 named “Rainy”. It was a beautiful month and the temperatures were in the 80’s on several days. Often we drove with the windows open but we also cranked the air conditioner when we were too hot. My honey noticed water seeping onto the passenger car mat by her left foot. At first we thought our water bottle was leaking but then realized it was more than that. It seemed to happen when I applied the brakes and it was getting worse. My winter gloves were on the floor and I could almost wring them out.
This blog is where I write about my pursuit of health, wealth and happiness. The podcasts and TED talks I listen to and the books and blogs I read contain so much more information that help me on my journey.
I incorporate what I learn into diet and lifestyle to help me live a healthy and happy life. I share that journey with others via this blog, hoping you use the information to take back your kitchen and your health. You deserve it!
As I right this, I am wrapping up week 2 of my 2020 month long semi-retirement. I recently wrote about how week 1 went in this post. In week 2, we have been settling in to a nice routine. I wake up early (as usual) and take my quiet time and then I write for a bit. After walking the dog, we eat breakfast and Mother Fran and I play some Canasta. It has been a beautiful week with temperatures in the 80’s. I feel bad that my sister, Child #3 was here just before us and had lousy weather.
Vacation is finally here! My honey and I spent Day One driving south, to leave the snow and cold behind for a month. This is our third extended trip away from home in the last three years. It is such an amazing way to rejuvenate and relax. Life is pretty good in My Little Blue Kayak. On our first day, we drove about seven hours through Upstate, New York, Northern PA, MD and landed at Child #2 and her husbands house in Northern VA. They are on an extended vacation of their own so we didn’t even get to see them. Somewhere in PA the snow disappeared and it was a sunny day.
Did you play Domino’s as a kid? We played lots of games but I don’t remember Domino’s until Mother Fran, Child #5 and Child #7 taught me Mexican Train as an adult. All I remember as a kid, is standing them up tall in zig zagging lines, gently knocking one down so I could watch it knock the next one and then the whole line would fall one after another.
When you feel stuck in life, where every day feels hard and just like the one before it. When you wake up feeling tired and go to bed feeling exhausted, when concentrating on the task at hand feels as difficult as putting a man on the moon or a women in the oval office. At times like these, you are in a rut as big as the state of Texas and it feels absurd to think there is a way out. Trust me, at times like these you don’t need a miracle.
Knocking down one domino is like taking that first step out of the rut. That first step is like taking a breath of fresh air and feeling the sunshine on your face when all you have felt for what seems like forever is being smothered in gray, listless fog. That first step doesn’t need to be a big one, it doesn’t need to be a leap, it just needs to be in the right direction.
We had a friend over for dinner recently. She was in a big ole rut for a long time and did not feel able or willing to take that first step. I don’t know what her personal first step was but I know that over the last six months she has quieted the devil on her shoulder and has let the angel speak. She is seeing a therapist she trusts and has a new outlook on life. She has ended a toxic relationship, lost 20 pounds and looks and feels wonderful. She is learning all about this new person she is becoming and I am so happy for her.
The dominos represent all of the barriers to change that we erect in our way of living the life we yearn to live. In our mind, those barriers look huge and insurmountable. When in the rut, we don’t believe we have any influence on the barriers and the negative voice in our head confirms this for us every single minute.
When we churn over a problem using the same methods we always do, it is like watching the same movie over and over and the result never changes. Kind of like “Groundhogs Day”! When we change the way we view them, by looking at the situation differently, by changing the narrative in our head, we can see new ways to approach the barriers (dominos).
I am reading a book titled “Maybe It’s You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life.” by Lauren Handel Zander. I haven’t finished all of the exercises yet but I like the way they have gotten me to think about life. She recommends writing down your dream life in 12 different areas including relationships, your physical body, work etc. You write down your dream life in the present tense as if you are already living this life. This is a great strategy to begin to change the narrative in your head. I bet if you read those dreams out loud every day, if you direct the voice in your head to recite the dream vs the negative crap it usually spews, one of those dominos will fall.
I like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t let the weather interfere with my plans. When a friend or loved one tries to back out of a planned event or won’t commit to something because “it might rain”, ” let’s see what the weather looks like”, or it is “supposed to be really cold” I like to say I don’t melt and get them to try to see things my way! At times, my honey has to remind me of this as well!
I live in the Finger Lakes Region of New York State and it is freaking cold in the winter. I have been bundling up with so many layers that I can barely move. Fenway seriously doesn’t melt and doesn’t care what the weather is, she just wants to go on her walks and sniff her way through the neighborhood! She is not an obligation but a celebration and I cherish my time with her.
I grew up in a house or maybe just a time where money felt like one of those taboo topics; like sex and religion, that are not to be discussed with others. It seemed like if you had money and talked about it you were bragging and if you didn’t have money and talked about it you were begging. Today, too many of us don’t have a solid grip on our finances. We feel broke all of the time but we spend money like we were born with a silver spoon in our mouth.
As a kid, I didn’t have any money. Papa Jack retired from the NYC police force when I was 9 years old and we moved Upstate. He had a small pension and a rather frugal wife but they still had 4 kids in school. He worked at various places over the years and raised some animals (mostly chickens) and grew plenty of vegetables to help with the food budget. Money was tight but we always had enough.
Do you ever feel two ways about something at the same time? I am staring at a painting, that was created by an individual with a developmental disability at my old job. It is a really beautiful painting of 10 elephants on a green and yellow background. I purchased it about 10 years ago and love to look at it. At the same time though I get a little upset looking at it. We had hired a teacher to help people create and sell art but looking back he did too much. He wanted things to look a certain way and would get overly involved in the person’s work. I remember this client asking me if the teacher had to touch his stuff!
I was once food ignorant and didn’t really think about the food I ate. I was a vegetarian so I figured I was healthy and eating good stuff. As a vegetarian, my diet was likely healthier than most American’s as I didn’t eat at fast food restaurants or eat a lot of junk food. I ate plenty of “healthy grains”, a ton of vegetables, tofu and meat alternatives. For me, those meat alternatives were the most processed food in my diet. They were not grown in the garden or raised on a farm; they were processed in a lab with ingredients that I couldn’t pronounce. They were not what I would consider to be real food.
