A Scary Place!

I have spent some time and energy over the last few days aimlessly tidying up. Looking through my belongings and boxing up things to donate. Scouring through my closet and drawers to see what is taking up space without ever being used. I have a bag of clothes, a pile of books and a box of stuff ready to get rid of on my back porch. I have vacuumed and swept and dusted various surfaces in my house and car.

While cleaning out stuff today, I came upon my notes from reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. Here are two quotes that I wrote down.

“Every single problem that you have in your life is the seed of an opportunity for some greater benefit.

When your preparedness meets opportunity, the solution will spontaneously appear.”

I don’t know if my need to organize myself and my surroundings is an avoidance of a problem or my attempt to prepare myself to deal with it.  It is if I am preparing myself for a change but I don’t know what the change is.

So how can I possibly prepare?

I am the only one who does this?

I am acting as though, if I can organize my surroundings, I can organize my thoughts. If I can organize my thoughts, I can quiet my mind and that uneasy, unsettled feeling will dissipate.

I have been on a quest to reduce my stuff, my clutter for a few years. I get it to a level that seems ok; but then I begin the process anew. Secretly, I want to be a minimalist where my stuff can’t pervade my thoughts because I own so little. Having less stuff makes me happier.

I want to own so little that I can live in a tiny house that looks big and spacious because it isn’t cluttered up with stuff.

If  I own less, I won’t be distracted by the need to reduce, recycle and repurpose. I will have more space in my head to think about bigger and better ideas. Ways to improve my community, the world and not just my life.

Maybe the change I am preparing for is simply springtime. Maybe all of this endless tidying up is simply spring cleaning.

Maybe messing with my stuff is just a way to distract myself from thinking about a problem I am avoiding.

If Deepak Chopra is right and every problem is a seed of an opportunity for greater benefit – It is time to prepare for the greater benefit.

Does this mean I should continue to prepare by tidying up so I am ready to meet some new opportunity? Or does it mean I should stop distracting myself with donating stuff and focus on the problem I am avoiding?

Avoiding problems is one way to stay in my comfort zone. It isn’t a good way to grow as an individual or to choose happiness; but the comfort zone is safe and predictable.

Being in my head today is a little scary! I think I should take another 10 minutes of quiet time, then go for a walk and then maybe I long hot shower. Maybe I should take the walk, then the shower and then the quiet time.

Sorry I subjected you all to this ranting… On the plus side, I feel a bit better having put my thoughts in writing!

Lake Girl