My parents had nine kids that are spread out over the East Coast. Mother Fran is the glue that holds us together. We don’t always talk on the phone or see each other often but we all share one thing in common. We all love Mother Fran like crazy. It is funny because she is not overly warm or affectionate. She didn’t spoil any of her kids and doesn’t give lavish presents. She is not a doting mother or grandmother. Somehow she and Papa Jack raised nine kids who all adore her. How did they do it?
Mother Fran has always been a bit of a health nut and has enjoyed good health into her 90’s. She likes to keep active both physically and mentally. Since February, she has visited the emergency room twice and been admitted to the hospital twice. This time period has been a whirlwind for my family and it isn’t over by far. We have decided to continue to provide 24 hour care for her at home as she isn’t out of the woods and should not be alone.
I work in the world of rehabilitation as an Occupational Therapist. I have worked in this field for ten years in several different nursing homes. I have seen staff, co-workers, and residents come and go. I can usually remember the faces but the names escape me. There is a weird dynamic in most nursing homes between therapy and nursing. We are working with the same patients but we come from different worlds. We use different terminology to describe the same thing. You would think by now we would have figured this out.
Nursing uses words like limited assist, extensive assist and total assist to describe how much help a resident needs to transfer, bathe, toilet and dress. Therapy uses words like minimum assist, moderate assist and maximum assist to describe the exact same thing. Nursing staff strive to make sure each person is safe, clean and dressed. The therapist is working towards having the same person be as independent as possible; prepared to return to their prior level of function.
Recently, my honey and I drove to Florida in my trusty RAV4 named “Rainy”. It was a beautiful month and the temperatures were in the 80’s on several days. Often we drove with the windows open but we also cranked the air conditioner when we were too hot. My honey noticed water seeping onto the passenger car mat by her left foot. At first we thought our water bottle was leaking but then realized it was more than that. It seemed to happen when I applied the brakes and it was getting worse. My winter gloves were on the floor and I could almost wring them out.
This blog is where I write about my pursuit of health, wealth and happiness. The podcasts and TED talks I listen to and the books and blogs I read contain so much more information that help me on my journey.
I incorporate what I learn into diet and lifestyle to help me live a healthy and happy life. I share that journey with others via this blog, hoping you use the information to take back your kitchen and your health. You deserve it!
As I right this, I am wrapping up week 2 of my 2020 month long semi-retirement. I recently wrote about how week 1 went in this post. In week 2, we have been settling in to a nice routine. I wake up early (as usual) and take my quiet time and then I write for a bit. After walking the dog, we eat breakfast and Mother Fran and I play some Canasta. It has been a beautiful week with temperatures in the 80’s. I feel bad that my sister, Child #3 was here just before us and had lousy weather.
Vacation is finally here! My honey and I spent Day One driving south, to leave the snow and cold behind for a month. This is our third extended trip away from home in the last three years. It is such an amazing way to rejuvenate and relax. Life is pretty good in My Little Blue Kayak. On our first day, we drove about seven hours through Upstate, New York, Northern PA, MD and landed at Child #2 and her husbands house in Northern VA. They are on an extended vacation of their own so we didn’t even get to see them. Somewhere in PA the snow disappeared and it was a sunny day.
Did you play Domino’s as a kid? We played lots of games but I don’t remember Domino’s until Mother Fran, Child #5 and Child #7 taught me Mexican Train as an adult. All I remember as a kid, is standing them up tall in zig zagging lines, gently knocking one down so I could watch it knock the next one and then the whole line would fall one after another.
When you feel stuck in life, where every day feels hard and just like the one before it. When you wake up feeling tired and go to bed feeling exhausted, when concentrating on the task at hand feels as difficult as putting a man on the moon or a women in the oval office. At times like these, you are in a rut as big as the state of Texas and it feels absurd to think there is a way out. Trust me, at times like these you don’t need a miracle.
Knocking down one domino is like taking that first step out of the rut. That first step is like taking a breath of fresh air and feeling the sunshine on your face when all you have felt for what seems like forever is being smothered in gray, listless fog. That first step doesn’t need to be a big one, it doesn’t need to be a leap, it just needs to be in the right direction.
We had a friend over for dinner recently. She was in a big ole rut for a long time and did not feel able or willing to take that first step. I don’t know what her personal first step was but I know that over the last six months she has quieted the devil on her shoulder and has let the angel speak. She is seeing a therapist she trusts and has a new outlook on life. She has ended a toxic relationship, lost 20 pounds and looks and feels wonderful. She is learning all about this new person she is becoming and I am so happy for her.
The dominos represent all of the barriers to change that we erect in our way of living the life we yearn to live. In our mind, those barriers look huge and insurmountable. When in the rut, we don’t believe we have any influence on the barriers and the negative voice in our head confirms this for us every single minute.
When we churn over a problem using the same methods we always do, it is like watching the same movie over and over and the result never changes. Kind of like “Groundhogs Day”! When we change the way we view them, by looking at the situation differently, by changing the narrative in our head, we can see new ways to approach the barriers (dominos).
I am reading a book titled “Maybe It’s You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life.” by Lauren Handel Zander. I haven’t finished all of the exercises yet but I like the way they have gotten me to think about life. She recommends writing down your dream life in 12 different areas including relationships, your physical body, work etc. You write down your dream life in the present tense as if you are already living this life. This is a great strategy to begin to change the narrative in your head. I bet if you read those dreams out loud every day, if you direct the voice in your head to recite the dream vs the negative crap it usually spews, one of those dominos will fall.
