I don’t know how Mother Fran and Papa Jack did it but they managed to raise 9 kids who all love to read. How does that happen? In 2019, I had a goal to read at least 20 books. I am happy to report I easily met this goal. At the beginning of the year, I tracked the days I read for at least 5 minutes but no longer bother to do this. That helped me get in the reading habit and now the habit is firmly established! I thought I would share the books I read and put them into my favorite categories. Yup, you guessed it! Health, wealth and happiness!
The holidays are here and that means many of you have been doing a lot of baking. I have been doing my part to keep up with the bakers by eating a lot of yummy cookies, brownies, fudge and cake. I would guess over the last week, I consumed quite a few extra calories per day and my pants are getting a bit snug. That is ok though because I know what to do. I also know I don’t go down this familiar path for as long or with as much intensity as I used to!
I am not worried about the extra calories or even the tight pants because my honey suggested we complete a Whole30 for the month of January. If you are not familiar with the Whole30 check out this page for more information!I have lost track but think this is our 4th or 5th Whole30 and I still love the experience. Maybe I don’t love giving up my wine but the rest of it is easy!
I like to think I am a simple person, someone who is not complicated. Someone who puts on no pretenses and what you see is what you get. I lived in this fantasy world for most of my life until I went through a particularly challenging time and those rose colored glasses were scratched and then smashed. At least that is the time that I believe I started to wake up to my own complexity.
About 10 years ago, I went through a 1-2 year span where I lost five important people in my life. They ranged in age from 29-62. I felt numb for a long time and then I went through a difficult break up. Until that time, I was always able to put on a happy face. I could pull myself together and present myself as a composed, happy, easy going person. But by the end of that 2 year span, after losing 5 people who were too young to die and having my relationship crumble, I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Regardless of whether you are bold, strong, arrogant or brash. Whether you are meek, mild, timid or passive. Whether you are foolhardy, risky, daring or crazy. Life is going to knock you down. Other people are going to pull your kayak off-course. People you love are going to hurt your feelings. Your boss or co-workers are going to bug the living crap out of you. Accidents will happen, mistakes will occur. When life knocks us down, some of us whimper and cry, some of us swear, some of us yell. Some of us shrug our shoulders and move on.
I get knocked down but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down.
Would your life be different if money was not a concern? Would you be different? How would things be different? Would you behave differently? Would you still be you? So many questions this morning. Sometimes when I read books or listen to podcasts I take notes so I can go back and review them at my leisure. This can be the catalyst for a blog post, for some introspection and for some inspiration.
I was checking out a document on my computer that I saved under the title – “Things I Want to Do” and the first section looked like this:
We often use money as an excuse for not doing something we claim we want to do. It is true that money is an important tool to getting what we want out of life but it is not the only tool available. As a tool, it can be used in a variety of ways to help us reach our goals. How we choose to earn money, spend money, save and invest money all have a impact on how much is available to address our needs as well as our wants.
I spent 20 plus years working for the same company. Most of that time, my job didn’t pay well and the benefits were just okay. I saved a little, spent a little and invested a little. Mother Fran was my early financial mentor so I always had enough to cover my monthly bills and a bit set aside for emergencies. But for some reason the thought of leaving that job to pursue another in order to increase my income didn’t really occur to me! I did meet some pretty amazing people some of whom are still my close friends.
I digress – if money was not a concern what would you love to do? Make a list of your top 10 things. Hell list out your top 20 or 50 or even 100! This is a day dreaming type of exercise afterall! Really do it now, it only takes 5 minutes. After jotting down the list above, I remember staring at it and thinking “what can I do now? What can I do today to get one step closer to each of these 10 things?
Then there was one of those AHA moments where I kicked my ass into gear and made another list! It looked like this:
Next step for each of these:
Talk to my niece about her internship (in Alaska)
Read up on National Parks and pick 3 to start learning more about
Spend 1 week this year in Florida – increase time in warm climate next year
Email Linda(an acquaintance of my honey’s) who owns a home in Costa Rica
Do the yoga DVD at home that you have
Help Child #7 (my sister) with her outdoor kitchen idea at the lake
Continue to research for outdoor kitchen and yard ideas for home
Reach out to 1 blogger who has posted about earning money from their site.
Talk to my honey about bike/kayak trip.
Play ping pong at the YMCA
Figuring out the first step for each item on my list cost me nothing. What it did do was help me realize that my dreams were possible and that I could complete some of them sooner than I thought.
My honey and I traveled to Alaska in September 2017 with 3 of my family members.
In 2018, we traveled to Acadia National Park with Number 9 and his wife. This year, we went to Shanendoa National Park and spent a day with Child #2 and Child #3. We also got to visit one of my nephews and his wonderful family.
Last year, we spent 1 month traveling South to get away from the cold, ice and snow of the Finger Lakes. We visited nieces, nephews, friends of my honey’s. We stayed several weeks with Mother Fran and Child #7, and got to spend time with my brother, Child #5.
I have not been to Costa Rica yet although I did reach out to someone who has a home there.
I completed a 3 month Tai Chi class and learned the series of 108 moves!
I continue to live in suburbia but I spend lots of time at Mother Fran’s lake house in the summer months.
My yard is a work in progress. My honey had new patio built and a new garden bed built for me. I expanded the existing flower bed and hope to plant a vine that will grow up a trellis in the coming year.
I have done nothing to monetize my blog but continue to create good (hopefully) content.
Bike/kayak adventure – In 2019, we kayaked in 4 locations in Florida, 3 of the Finger Lakes in NY and on a small lake in PA. We biked on the Erie Canal in May and several times on a path closer to home.
Ping Pong – I can’t say I have gotten any better but continue to love the game. I did go to the YMCA once to play with others but did not enjoy playing in that environment. I prefer playing with my honey in our garage.
“Sometimes not doing what we think we want to do is less about money and more about inertia!”
Living our lives day in and day out can be a series of moments that are joyful, tearful, boring, exhilarating and downright funny. Personally, I choose happiness so I try to set up my environment for joy. So much of what happens to us is outside of our control. We can’t control how other people treat us or speak to us. We can control how we speak to others and treat them. We can’t control natural disasters or the weather but we can control our reaction these events. I certainly don’t melt when the weather refuses to comply with my requests for blue sky and sunshine! Do You?
I learned a word recently that I had never heard of before. A word that has helped me with this concept of a neutral response to a misspoken word or deed. The word is SHENPA and it has opened my eyes to how my reaction to others either fuels a fire or extinguishes it. The only fires I want in my life involve me sitting next to it warming my feet or toasting marshmallows for smores with friends and family.
Every year I write goals for myself to keep me on the path of health, wealth and happiness. This year, I decided to review them early in December as I knew I would need to kick myself into gear on a few of them. I share them here to keep myself accountable and to give you some ideas on how I view this journey, I call my life! Back in February I wrote out my goals for this year in the post, “can you see your life?”. Check it out and then come back and see how I did!
Improve gut issues as evidenced by decreased symptoms – IMPROVED AND IN PROCESS Get blood work and annual physical- SCHEDULED for March Maintain weight under 139 pounds – DONE Complete a Whole30 – DONE Complete the Health Care Proxy forms – PROCRASTINATING!
New Vanguard account $3000 – This will happen this month Contribute $2000 to existing non-retirement accounts – DONE Max IRA $7000 – DONE Max HSA $3400- DONE Increase car fund by $2000- DONE Maintain income at 2018 level- Looks like I will be short. Set up beneficiaries for all accounts- PROCRASTINATING $500 set aside for lightweight kayak -DONE
Travel south for 1 month to visit family and friends – DONE Kayak in 5 new places – DONE 2 Bike/kayak/hike weekends away from home – DONE Earn 15 CEU’s for my OT license- 7 earned 8 to go. I will be busy the next few weeks! Health Coach 6 people (1:1 or group) – NOT DONE. I worked with 1 person Read 20 books- DONE! Keep a Gratitude Journal- DONE Increase monthly visitor stats to blog by 10% over 2018 levels – NOT DONE Post an average of 5 blog posts per month – NOT DONE (once again I tracked the lag and not the lead measures)
Some of my goals will be completed whether or not I write them down and stare at them every day. Maxing out my IRA, and HSA are simply my top priorities once I pay my monthly bills. Some of my goals are written down to make sure I pursue something that I think I want to do like my health coaching goal. I pushed myself a little to at least attempt to address this goal and although I didn’t meet it I am glad for the attempt. Not meeting my income goal is disappointing however I know why it didn’t happen and I made the decisions that led to it not happening. I can live with that!
For 2020, I am not sure how I will address my goals. I have set aside some time for some Strategic Planning and I will see what comes out of this. My honey and I want to travel south again to visit family and friends and to escape some cold and ice of winter in the Finger Lakes. We also hope to travel west this year to visit a bunch of National Parks.
As I wrote in my last post, my primary Occupational Therapy gig has dried up and I haven’t quite figured out how I will respond to this change. Luckily my other per diem job has had more hours lately and that has helped tremendously. Making sure my income is solid for the coming year is on my mind a lot but not in a nail biting anxiety driven kind of way. I just need to make sure my income in 2020 is enough to cover all of my expenses, max out my retirement accounts and cover taking 2 months away from home. I have strategized more complicated things than this!
Staying on the path to my destinations leads to success! Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay
Living a meaningful life doesn’t happen by chance. You have to know what you want it to look like and develop strategies to make it happen. I figured out what I wanted my life to look like about 7 years ago. Annual goals are just one of the strategies I use to keep me on my path. This is what I wrote down seven years ago – and it still rings true.
MY DESTINATION
I want my home to be relaxing, simple, joyful and low maintenance
I want to earn my living doing work that I find meaningful and that brings others to a better place/space
I want to be debt free leaving my options for semi-retirement wide open
I want to share my life with a partner that enjoys the simple things in life that I have to offer
I want to spend my time doing things I enjoy with people I care about
I want to do my part to leave this earth a better place then I found it
I want to live below my means with a focus on people, relationships, the environment – not stuff
When you know what you want and why you want it – figuring out the how you are going to get it is fun. Challenging but fun! I have some strategic planning to do!
In the summer, it is easy to spend my time in a manner that is meaningful to me. I go to the lake and hang out with my sister (#7), I play Canasta with Mother Fran, I kayak, swim and relax in the sun. I spend time with Child #1, Number 9 and friends. I work a couple of shifts at the Nursing Home and do plenty of yard work.
This time of year is a time of transition for me. My yard work slows down and I have a lot more free time than usual. Medicare enacted new changes to the reimbursement of Nursing Homes and they took effect in October. It is like they threw a rock in the middle of the lake and the shock wave hit once but the ripples keep coming.
